When you hold someone’s hand, you are showing him or her some sort of affection. It does not mean you are fully committed to that person. You can look away from them, pull away from them, bend their arm and cause them pain; you can also sit in silence and ignore them. All of these things are what I had been doing to Christ. I held his hand and did not let go, but I was not committed to him. I looked away from him and saw at the unsatisfying things of this world. I pulled on him to try to make him do what I wanted. I twisted his arm and caused him pain and grief over my sin. Finally, I sat in silence ignoring him because he would not do what I wanted.
Now, think about what it is like to be held, like a child being held by their mother or father. You hold on tight because you love them. They hold on tight because they love you. You rest your head on their chest and close your eyes because you feel safe and comfortable in their arms. All the while, they are taking you where you need to go and looking out for you. You do not worry because they are bigger than you. You can rest in their arms. This is what Christ wants to do for us. He loves us and wants us to rest in his arms, knowing that he will take care of us.
For so long I held his hand, uneasy about what his arms might be like. Finally, after holding God's hand for 12 years, I let him hold me.
